Pinball Wizard

February 4, 2011 at 10:20 pm (Uncategorized)

There’s a pinball bouncing around in my head. Except there’s no chute for it to drop into so it just keeps going. Ping. Ping ping. Ping. Ping ping ping. Ping ping.

I didn’t realize how much the Adderall was helping. Until now. When it’s gone. One lousy trip to the ER and my husband is suddenly afraid my heart’s going to explode. I mean really, what are those odds?

Ping ping. Ping.

Want to know what the funniest part is? To me anyway. Until a few months ago, I believed everyone else in the world had that same pinball bouncing around in their heads. I’ve spent over 30 years trying to figure out why I couldn’t control it like everyone else appeared to.

Ping ping ping.

I miss the clarity. And actually getting things done. Oh yeah, that part was sweet. Right now I’m missing the sleep. Turns out a dose of amphetamines in the morning gives me a fabulous night of sleep. Which might explain why my single night of cocaine use ended in such an unexpected way…

Ping. Ping ping ping. Ping.

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2 Comments

  1. Tori Nelson said,

    I hate that you don’t have that clarity, but know that you will find it again soon!

  2. The Mother said,

    I do hope you get sorted out soon. My adhd son is a total mess when he doesn’t take his meds. Can’t imagine what it feels like. It’s gotta be awful.

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