Being a Scanner Stokes My (Not So) Inner Geek

May 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm (Uncategorized)

So here’s the thing…I never intended this to become “The Blog Wherein I Bitch About My Brain,” and yet that’s where it’s been going. It’s not all bad since I really wanted this to be a safe place for me to say whatever the hell I wanted to say, and I suppose I’ve done that. I am hoping that recent developments will make that topic less all-absorbing though. I got a short-term OK from a (wonderful) cardiologist to continue my Adderall. I will be doing a stress test in a few weeks to confirm his opinion that my heart is strong enough to handle the current dosage. In the meantime, I feel normal again! Or at least what I suspect “normal” people feel like, knowing the can of worms I open for myself when even using a word like “normal”. And I found myself back where I was a few months ago, before a tachycardia lasted so long I had to visit an emergency room for a “reset”, reading Barbara Sher’s Refuse to Choose.

Actually I should say re-reading. When I plucked out the bookmark where I’d left off, I couldn’t remember some of the main points that had already been made. Because I got distracted. Back to the beginning for me! Of course near the beginning of the book reference is made to the internet community of what Sher calls “Scanners,” so this morning I’ve been digging through some of those resources. Were you aware that groups of people who have a hard time finding their “tribe” often form communities on the internet? Crazy.

So here’s what I’ve been doing today:

Reading these words reminds me to be kinder to myself. And that I need to get some friends.

It’s not that I hadn’t already read some of Barbara’s books. It’s not that I hadn’t already heard of Scanners. It’s just that I seriously need to pay more attention.

Oh, yeah, this is going to suck my brain out for a few days at least. Massive amounts of validation – I am about to be drunk on hope. And possibly gin and tonics.

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