Learning the Steps Backwards

June 2, 2011 at 1:49 pm (Uncategorized)

The good news is that I didn’t have pneumonia. The bad news is that being well on my way to bronchitis did not explain why I had been so tired and grouchy. My husband pointed out to me that I always get tired and grouchy in the spring to which I replied (in the snotty teen voice I have perfected), “I do not!”

Of course last spring I got so tired I had a sleep test, an MRI, and more blood work than I care to remember. All of which came to the diagnosis of gee-we-have-no-idea. A trip to a higher altitude and a dial down on my cardio intensity eventually helped put me back to normal. I guess I could dig through my journals and see if this is a pattern as he claims. But now that the fatigue is lifting, there are about 382 other things I’d like to get done.

Like a reverse-season version of SAD I have come to hate the oppresive heat, the way it presses down on me, makes me feel like a prisoner of my own air conditioned coldness. I know it must seem blasphemy to those who ache to see the sun again, but I’ve started to hate the constant sunshine, the bland, bleached sameness day after day.

The startling news of my husband interviewing for a job in a colder climate should make me shake with delight. But I’m cautious, no use counting those chickens just yet. Or maybe, if I dare myself to be more honest, I am scared. It seems I may have finally learned that getting what I wish for rarely works out well for me.


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