Leaning In and Letting Go

June 22, 2011 at 9:17 am (Uncategorized)

Leaning into the process, I am learning to let go again. All my life I have been learning to let go. Each time I start with the belief that this time will damage me beyond repair, but it is getting easier. Why am I so surprised to find this is true?

My husband has accepted a job in Portland. In the next few months I will be leaving behind the thick, desert heat for the cool mists of another land. I have spent more than a year wanting this. And here it is.

Tucson calls to people. Something about this place attracts the wounded, those in need of healing that only the stripped-down heat of this desert can provide. I was one of them. Some of those people never leave. They find themselves not only healed but also anchored. This too was me, for a while.

The others get their healing but move on; the Desert loosens her grip and sends them back out to their other places, better than they were before. I have become one of them.

I was restless and confused for months. This place I had come to love so much (and how sweet is the love that comes to replace distaste?) suddenly felt foreign and indifferent. And then one day I knew: She was telling me it was time to let go again. I began to dream of softer places, colder places, stranger (to me) places.

And now it begins.

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